DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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