I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
