Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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