SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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