I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
When are your genitals available?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
