Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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