I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
