She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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