She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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