just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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