Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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