I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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