Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
