We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
