Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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