I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
