so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
