i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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