Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
