if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
