Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
