If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
