I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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