Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
