How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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