just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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