i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
