i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
