Betty ford says i'm here all night
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Randomize
