After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
