The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
