i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Randomize
