I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
