only if we run a train.
done.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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