Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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