trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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