Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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