keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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