He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
