he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
