Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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