would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
