It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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