On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
