maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
