Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
