The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
