We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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