Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
