they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
