there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize